Despite once being a rampant show rhinoceros, Splash has now, like so many others, retreated into being a warm, office-dwelling, wily digital fox. That said, we still love nothing more than brushing off the fibre optics and donning the old show boots a few times a year.
If you want to hop into a hoodie or pull on a polo, like, for real, then you will find us full of the joys of the relevant season at the following events:
Event: BADMINTON HORSE TRIALS, Badminton, Glos
Date: Late April / Early May
Stand Location: Arguably the nearest stand to Badminton House. Like John Lewis, we anchor one end of the main shopping village loop.
Weather: Traditionally, if you arrive in a polo shirt basking in early, warm Spring sunshine, you will leave hugging your new hoodie in driving, late-Winter rain. Conversely, if you start the day in twenty six layers of clothing to battle the elements, you'll inevitably leave the event decked out in your new polo shirt and shorts surrounded by the lovely smell of hot, wet mud and grass.
Event: BRAMHAM INTERNATIONAL HORSE TRIALS, Bramham, North Yorks
Date: Early June
Stand Location: Sponsor's Row. Or as we like to call it, "Noah's Ark". It's at the top of the shopping village and remains the only safe and dry location when it's wet.
Weather: Thursday - warm and sunny / Friday - hot and sunny / Saturday - driving rain, clearing as you leave / Sunday - clear with driving rain as you leave.
Event: THE ROYAL HIGHLAND SHOW, Edinburgh, Scotland
Date: Late June
Stand Location: Just off the main ring, opposite the equestrian warm-up paddock and diagonally across from M&S.
Weather: No comment. Howling gale or completely still. Horizontal rain or unbearable sunshine.
Event: THE GREAT YORKSHIRE SHOW, Harrogate, North Yorks
Stand Location: Around the main ring and right in front of where the country's finest cattle show-off their best bits.
Weather: Perfect. Always perfect. Or maybe that's the rose-tinted glasses effect of the William & Victoria the night before...
Event: BURGHLEY HORSE TRIALS, Stamford, Lincs.
Stand Location: In the Golden Horseshoe shopping area.
Weather: Beautiful late Summer warmth and blue skies, or chilly, grey, early Autumnal gloom.